Comments for http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com Parenting Services Sydney Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:17:23 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Are you lonely? by Jacqueline MacLeod http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/are-you-lonely/#comment-16 Jacqueline MacLeod Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:17:23 +0000 http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/?p=53#comment-16 I found a great group called Baby Bumps. It is for women who have had or are suffering from post natal depression. They are locared at Hornsby. I think this group is great as they have ladies who look after your child in the next room while you have a discussion group with a group of ladies and varied subjects. Jacqueline I found a great group called Baby Bumps. It is for women who have had or are suffering from post natal depression. They are locared at Hornsby. I think this group is great as they have ladies who look after your child in the next room while you have a discussion group with a group of ladies and varied subjects.

Jacqueline

]]> Comment on Discipline – TV Appearance by Nerida http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/dicipline-tv-appearance/#comment-14 Nerida Mon, 03 Nov 2008 04:24:05 +0000 http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-14 I think the answer is in the situation itself. It would be foolish, as well as rude, to step into a situation where a parent is standing with their child and the child has done something that, in your eyes, they should be picked up on. As has already been stated, you can't know what is going on. The parent may purposefully be ignoring this particular behaviour, or the child may be ill. It's up to the parent to react. Speak directly to the parent if it's something really horrible or offensive. However, I think it's completely different if the child's behaviour is dangerous to themselves or others and the parent is distracted, absent or just not taking enough care. I've pulled kids off supermarket shelves and away from the edge of train platforms more than once. I also feel it is fine to speak to a child if their behaviour is interfering with what you and your family are doing. I've asked children to play further away after having muddy feet trample through our picnic, and I've asked children to play under their parent's table and not mine at restaurants. I would never touch a child I don't know unless it's to stop them hurting themselves, and I always speak clearly and politely. Not not advocating on behalf of interfering busy bodies and the judgmental idiots that as parents we all come across, just sensible kindness and care. I see it as fulfilling the old adage that "it takes a village to raise a child". How can we do that if we are too scared to remind children of their manners when they are in public? I think the answer is in the situation itself.

It would be foolish, as well as rude, to step into a situation where a parent is standing with their child and the child has done something that, in your eyes, they should be picked up on.

As has already been stated, you can’t know what is going on. The parent may purposefully be ignoring this particular behaviour, or the child may be ill. It’s up to the parent to react.

Speak directly to the parent if it’s something really horrible or offensive.

However, I think it’s completely different if the child’s behaviour is dangerous to themselves or others and the parent is distracted, absent or just not taking enough care. I’ve pulled kids off supermarket shelves and away from the edge of train platforms more than once.

I also feel it is fine to speak to a child if their behaviour is interfering with what you and your family are doing. I’ve asked children to play further away after having muddy feet trample through our picnic, and I’ve asked children to play under their parent’s table and not mine at restaurants.

I would never touch a child I don’t know unless it’s to stop them hurting themselves, and I always speak clearly and politely.

Not not advocating on behalf of interfering busy bodies and the judgmental idiots that as parents we all come across, just sensible kindness and care.

I see it as fulfilling the old adage that “it takes a village to raise a child”. How can we do that if we are too scared to remind children of their manners when they are in public?

]]> Comment on Help hasn’t worked? by Heather http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/help-hasnt-worked/#comment-13 Heather Thu, 18 Sep 2008 03:50:29 +0000 http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/?p=29#comment-13 I agree with this idea. I've also seen it called "couch time" - that it is time that mummy and daddy sit on the couch together at the end of the day, and the children are taught over time to understand at that time they are not to be disturbed. I think it is easy for us to justify our way around this by saying we have time alone after the kids are in bed - or other times in the day. But it really does send such a powerful message if you can do it while the kids ARE around. As you say Fiona, so they know that as a couple you are united, and together, and prioritising each other. It is such a firm and reassuring foundation for them to build their own sense of identity, stability and confidence from. You've triggered some good thoughts - thanks! I agree with this idea. I’ve also seen it called “couch time” – that it is time that mummy and daddy sit on the couch together at the end of the day, and the children are taught over time to understand at that time they are not to be disturbed. I think it is easy for us to justify our way around this by saying we have time alone after the kids are in bed – or other times in the day.
But it really does send such a powerful message if you can do it while the kids ARE around. As you say Fiona, so they know that as a couple you are united, and together, and prioritising each other. It is such a firm and reassuring foundation for them to build their own sense of identity, stability and confidence from. You’ve triggered some good thoughts – thanks!

]]> Comment on The Six Most Important Words by anglhugnu2 http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/the-six-most-important-words/#comment-5 anglhugnu2 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:59:31 +0000 http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/?p=10#comment-5 Hmmmm....well...if "I" were one of the least important words...then my sayinig to you "I love you!" would negate the importance of your hearing it from me. And, since we don't want to sound totally primitive with saying "Me Love you! Ugh! I would suggest the small, yet significant, change "You are loved!" as the three most important words. Otherwise your message is pretty darn cool! Me like... :-) "You are loved...and loved RIGHT NOW!" AngllHugnU2 Author of IM with God Hmmmm….well…if “I” were one of the least important words…then my sayinig to you “I love you!” would negate the importance of your hearing it from me. And, since we don’t want to sound totally primitive with saying “Me Love you! Ugh! I would suggest the small, yet significant, change “You are loved!” as the three most important words.

Otherwise your message is pretty darn cool!

Me like… :-)

“You are loved…and loved RIGHT NOW!”

AngllHugnU2
Author of IM with God

]]> Comment on Discipline – TV Appearance by babynbeyond http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/dicipline-tv-appearance/#comment-4 babynbeyond Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:19:07 +0000 http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-4 Great comments Heather, thank you. You never know what's happening with the child. They could be going through difficult issues at home, have a disability, gone through some trauma, or are possibly unwell. Those harsh and condesending looks can be very hurtful to an already fragile parent who is trying to get the most basic of chores done ie. grocery shopping. Keep your head up, believe in yourself and remember if the 'onlookers' are angry, frustrated or mad at you - that is THEIR issue not yours. They could also have their own history that causes them to behave in a negative way. Great comments Heather, thank you. You never know what’s happening with the child. They could be going through difficult issues at home, have a disability, gone through some trauma, or are possibly unwell.

Those harsh and condesending looks can be very hurtful to an already fragile parent who is trying to get the most basic of chores done ie. grocery shopping.

Keep your head up, believe in yourself and remember if the ‘onlookers’ are angry, frustrated or mad at you – that is THEIR issue not yours. They could also have their own history that causes them to behave in a negative way.

]]> Comment on Discipline – TV Appearance by Heather Jones http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/dicipline-tv-appearance/#comment-3 Heather Jones Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:22:52 +0000 http://babynbeyond.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-3 I think disciplining someone elses child who is not in your care - ie not your responsibility - is not at all appropriate, and can be absolutely debilitating to an already frustrated parent's self confidence to deal with the situation themselves. I have a close friend who has 2 children who had major behavioral challenges - before they were diagnosed with food allergies!, and also had sensory-overload issues. I'm not fully across what that means in the medical sense, but the essence of it was the lights and sounds and activity of any shopping centre or library for example would trigger something in their brains and a self-control latch would be released. Smacking did not help. A firm word did not help. Offers of rewards for good behavious rarely helped. The best she could do was buckle down - power through the aisles - and get home safely. Her perception is she "always, without exception" had someone giving her a look or saying something that said to her she was "a bad parent", and if someone tried to "help get her kids in line" she'd be fuming on the inside, again assuming they felt she was a bad parent. We don't know other people's kids . We don't know what they're facing. And even if it's not the way you'd handle it - the thing is, we're all doing the very best we can out there! I think disciplining someone elses child who is not in your care – ie not your responsibility – is not at all appropriate, and can be absolutely debilitating to an already frustrated parent’s self confidence to deal with the situation themselves. I have a close friend who has 2 children who had major behavioral challenges – before they were diagnosed with food allergies!, and also had sensory-overload issues. I’m not fully across what that means in the medical sense, but the essence of it was the lights and sounds and activity of any shopping centre or library for example would trigger something in their brains and a self-control latch would be released. Smacking did not help. A firm word did not help. Offers of rewards for good behavious rarely helped. The best she could do was buckle down – power through the aisles – and get home safely.

Her perception is she “always, without exception” had someone giving her a look or saying something that said to her she was “a bad parent”, and if someone tried to “help get her kids in line” she’d be fuming on the inside, again assuming they felt she was a bad parent. We don’t know other people’s kids . We don’t know what they’re facing. And even if it’s not the way you’d handle it – the thing is, we’re all doing the very best we can out there!

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