How do you keep your marriage alive?  What do you do that’s fun, that makes you both laugh, that keeps the fire burning?

An idea I heard of was having “Our Time” and the more I talked to the older generation the more I learnt that many of them did this.  This was how it looked for them:  When the hubby got home from work they took the time to sit and be together and have a brandy or something.  The house was clean, the children were quietly playing, dinner was simmering on the stove, lunch was made for the next day and they talked.  Well the reality of this now is more like:  driving children to and from activities, doing homework for them or with them, sorting out sibling arguments, having the readers read to you while you are driving, picking up dinner on the way home from work plus some extra groceries and feeling stressed from the day’s pressures.

Hang on a minute…. what has happened here!!!  Why are our lives so busy, stressful and over-loaded?  There is too much external pressure to be something we are not.  To feel we need to live up to the neighbours or friends, to have the smart children, sportier children, clever children.  Why not stop for a minute and think about the family you would like to be.

This all starts with us and having a positive marriage.  What do we want our family to look like?  By taking out a little time each day to talk together can start to heal a marriage or even save one.  It only takes a few minutes but is worth every minute.  Make it about ‘we’ and not ‘I’.  Talk about your day, your dreams and your hopes for your family.  Tell your children that “mummy and daddy” time is important and having this time together makes you better parents.

We have a little table for two on our front verandah.  This is where we sit, when we can, to talk about how we both are.  The children know this is our time and, if possible, not to disturb us.  It has taken our five children a little practice but it is now working a treat.  We both look forward to it.

Let’s take a leaf out of the older generations book and take a little time for us!!  Isn’t our marriage worth it?